Advisor Group, Am I?

From the day i saw my name in the namelist,

this question always appear in my mind.

Advisor Group, Am i?

Did i fit or not?

And yesterday is our CSAG first activity.

And first we were choosing the commitee who organise the CS night.

And during the election,

i am get suggest for education leader,

and the feel that time is like.... you know...

Another people are ex edu leader le,

but me just a member,

and the question ask by them is so difficult to answer lo.

Sweat... -_-

And that time i so hope that the ground got a hole to let me to hide it.

Because i am actually don't know how to answer the question, Failure... -_-

So, the result, sure not me lo. So glad~

But before the time,

when 3 of us at outside,

our "zhu ren" asking us why 3 of us so “失水准”today...

So that time feel quite sorry for he lo...

But we also don't want de...

So end up,

i am split to edu group(edu group again -_-),

and discuss about all the thing...

And that what all happen yesterday during our first activity,

but don't know why,

now got a feel that not really wanna stay in CSAG.

Cannot say regret,

only can say that my sense of reasonable all come back yesterday,

and i keep on thinking why i am going for interview...

Because of what?

I really don't know?

Now got a bit lose already...

And can i be a good advisor?

Can i keep going it?

Felt very confusing now...

But,

i know that,

since i choosen be part of CSAG,

i won't repeat the mistake i have before...

Me must keep going to last minute...

Like someone told me yesterday,

since someone can keeping support you,

Why you cannot support yourself?

So...
Keep going it ba...
And let strife for it...

~Untitle~

Yup, i come back to jb again...
But this time,
i come back with no reason...
In the lasat few time.
i can say come back to visit my best friend.
But now...
Who is my best friend that exist in jb?
You? or you or you?
Who are my best friend in jb now?
Can someone tell me?
Yesterday,
i coming back without telling anybody...
Because i don't know who should i finding...
Feel sorry to him who fetch me home,
we already long time didn't contact,
who he still willing come to fetch me,
thank you yup.
And just now,
i manage to find some friend for tea session tomorrow night...
But...
they are not the gang i always find...
Why i didn't find them back le?
I don't know...
Feel like still got thorn inside my heart.
Sorry for you guy ar,
coming back didn't find you is my fault...
Forgive me ba...


Don't know why,
feel very strange to here now...
everything feel so far toward to me..
feel so lonely here...
I'm so unsecure now...
Who can come and help me?
Me almost wanna sink le...


Now me,
alone in cc...
Why i am alone?
Because finally find out during this 5 years,
i get very less friends...
I don't want to admit,
But only you is the only friend i treasure with full heart...
but now...
i need to get rid of you in my life...
feel like wanna cut down one part of my body.
But i still need to do it.
Even very pain,
but if didn't do it,
i scare it will bring more hurt to me in future...
I don't know you got view my blog or not.
But...
Thank you for the friendship u gave for pass few year...
Now...
I think we are mature enough...
So...
We all know that us cannot live like before anymore...
We need to grow...
So maybe apart is the best for us.
Maybe this is my excuse,
But the only thing i can say is...
Sorry,
we are not best friend anymore...
Maybe in future we still can be normal friend.
if you don't mind...
but now...
let just be like that ba...
friend...

Both of u~

Yup,is both of you...
don't know why,
although we only know each other few month only...
But don't know why,
i feel very relax and happy with you guy...
And i start to trust you guy...
i cannot explain why i can trust you so easily,
and i also surprising why i can trust you so fast...
But that is...
I don't know how you guy think me la,
but now, i really treat both of you as good friends.
And hope that in the time,
we can be better and better...
And very thank you both of you take care,console me when i am down.
When i no place to live,
you will sms me whether got place to rest or not?
if not go you there for a night.
Even maybe my face is unemotional la,
but i am very grateful for your helps de.
And now...
don't know why la,
just suddenly have this feel...
and wanna say a thank you for both of you.
Maybe another while your may see this post.
But, please keep quiet when see it ar,
don't come and laugh at me ar.
else i direct delete this post,
haha~


But really la, really thank both of you...
maybe 3 of us not believe at friendship forever la,
but just let us try our best to keep this friendship la...
Ok? let promise it....

Feeling Down

Don't know why,
i feeling very down today,
i skip all my class for no reason.
Just because really no mood for today.
And the reason i also don't know...
It is because of she?
Maybe part of it ba...
But today i am actually think a lot,
and more think more down...
Feel that i am suddenly i lost my target,
feel like i am not belong to everywhere...
And feel that i am not exist in the world...
What the reasons le?
Now i feeling very empty...
Could someone, or something to fill me up?
Atleast make me won't so lonely,tired and miserable...
And don't worry, i won't go and suicide de...
Just cannnot figure out something...
Cannot figure what the thing i want...
what the target i chase...
And what are main point for me right now...
And just,
confusing....
Haiz...
I am become more and more tire...
So, just end here ba...
i wanna go and rest le...

speechless

Yesterday after the GPF activity,
in the journey to go home,
i'm sending a msg to telling her...
And she didn't reply me...
Only after about 1 to 2 hour,
she reply me...
but the contains about the message,
haiz...
don't know how to say it...
Maybe she know already,
but she keep saying i am joke with her...
And i also don't know how to talks to she also..
but i really want to say...


I'm serious...
Can you give me a chance?
Or maybe consider and think a while la...
I really not joke and kidding with u de...
But also, if i make u feels unconfortables,
spoke a sorry to you 1st la,
but i want to tell u,
i won't give up so easily.
And hope that u can give me a chance...
Because, i very care about u...

GPF(Global Peace Festival)

Last 2 day, i attend the 2 activity from GPF.
For the first day,
i'm joining the community service project.
It is quite fun cause to work with different school and nations ppl.
Even that me that group are full with a lot of UM students,
and they are actually knowing each other already.
So it is really difficult to communicate with them,
because there are all very friends already.
Only after some time,
we only start our short conservations.
After finish the works,
we are having some activity in the halls.
But is quite sleeply because there are a lot of speech.
Only fresh a bit by the arriving of Daniel Lee.
And end of the activity,
because the bus haven't arriving.
So we are keep on taking picture there.
Don't know why,
recently more and more like to taking photo...
Haiz... hehe..
After that in the second day...
we are going for the concert..
And we are arriving there in the morning,
so we are spending a lot of time there for get high ourselve,
taking photo, eating, and playing.
And finally until 1.30 pm,
even is still still early,
but due to we are a lot of member,
so we decide go in early else don't have seat that can seat together.
And in the concerts,
very supprising i meet with yi ze and soon yuang,
they are going with them tuition teacher.
Even only have a short talks with them,
but still feel very happy lo.
And in the concerts,
also not bad la,
but maybe need to cut down the amount of speech lo,
so bore...
And after that,
go back with them then having a nice sleep.
but having a nightmate.T.T


My community service group, Group 31~



The weather so hot, better have an ice cream...



3 men in dark...><



yup, finish the jobs, taking another photo~hehe...



So fun and close with my CSG2 members...



smile~~~

~What happen to my results?~

Just taking my results just now, very disappointed now..
Because i total fails 3 subject.
Now is totally down...
Even that didn't prepared much,
but should be not that poor gua...
And that 3 is grade 'F' o...
'F' is almost = to 0 or 0.xx something le.
How poor i am,
also no reason that poor de ma...
What happen to my results?
Should i go to remark it?
But those senior say that go to remark is waste money only..
So, should i still go for it?
But now i am very unhappy...
Shame to stand with my friends,
Don't dare to tell my parents about the results.
So, very confused now...
Should i still continue study?
Or just stop it?
Anybody tell me,pls...
Haiz...
What a unlucky day...

~What the Fu*k i am doing~

As title,
what am i doing?
why i same group with him again?
Why did i want to sympathy him?
Why i such a soft heart?
Why i just cannot ignore him and don care him?
Alex, you are such a loser,
Just say a no very hard mie?
And he not girl also wa,
Got so hard to reject it from same group mie?
Haiz...
What a bad day...
Now, i am sympathy him,
if the thing come out very poor,
then who sympathy me?
Haiz...

Friends...

Recently happen something between me and he.
I really don't know how to face him,
I should be very angry de,
but why i didn't angry at all?
It should be either one answer for following...
One is i am too care about him,
So maybe i still treat he for true friend,
that why i didn't angry.
Second answer,
maybe my heart is cold already.
I didn't looking forward he for anything more.
So now, what should i do?
Should i think it nothing happen and continue friendship with him?
Or, just end it?
Because i'm very disappointed about him.
This time, if not the helping from my friends,
I really don't know what to do.
And he, if not mistaken not even say a single "sorry" to me.
And look like not he fault at all...
And when i return here,
talks what happen to my friend,
them all ask me just stop it.
Some friends is very worthy to treasure it,
but some, throw it to recycle bin is better.
But how to say also a very good friends for several years.
What me do like this me really not bear...
But...
I'm very sad and hurt this time...
And very confuse how to solve it.
Because it is very hard to pretend nothing...
I really don't know...
What should i do?
HOw about you?
FRIEND?
What your mind now?
Can you tell me?
I'm so miserable now...
Because don't know why,
i really feel i am a idiot now.
Just because a friends,
make myself until this kind of situation...
Does it worthy?
Would you appreciate for what i am doing?
Or just take it for a jokes?
I feel i am very strange with you now...
And feel also the distance between us is longer and longer....
I really don't know how to do now...
I even force myself to think those happy period for last time...
But, still feel less something important...
I don't know what is that...
But, because of that,
make me feel strange to you.
So...
What is that?
And the only answer that i can think currently.
The important thing we lost,
it name maybe will call as...
~friendship~

第二团，解散...

时间真得过得很快,才一眨眼的功夫,
我们第二团就要解散。
心里真的是有一百个舍不得。
但是，
他还是这么解散了。
唉~
昨天，一早就到了学院，
看着大家为着等下要跳的团歌紧张，
而我却什么感觉也没有，哈哈...
可能是我已经把舞步给记熟了吧？
哈哈...
说真的，这次的感触不是很强叻，
可能是因为之前感触太深了吧？
因为之前下完乡后就已经觉得像解散了。
因为都已经没活动了，
都只剩检讨会而已...
所以，那时就觉得非常不舍得，
至于详情懒惰再写，
请看之前的post吧。
现在，不懂怎么说，
就觉得没有了下乡，
觉得时间多了很多，
但是，能够做些什么，
这就是问题。
所以，现在，是无聊的。
不知道等一下要做什么，唉~
空虚ing...
现在，也在考虑着要不要去interview...
你们就觉得呢？
现在正迷惘的我需要你们的意见哦。
如果谁有到这里游览的话，
请多给意见哦~

What i done

Haha, don't misunderstand it,
what i means is what i done in jb for this few day.
So... what i done le?
Actually...
didn't done a lot yup...

First day...
About the noon time, having duck rice with friend.
Then, go Cybercafe for a internet surfing...
After that, e...
if not mistaken, should be accompany friends for hair cut.
And lastly, dinner in AGUS and dotaing...
In the end, sleep dreams...

Second day...
in the early of the morning,
going cc with YH,
then should be didn't go anyplace anymore...
Then having lunch with GJ,JK, and kitty...
And in the night time,
going sutera mall.
this is the first time i go there o.
So feels quite fresh to me.
After that,going Ativo(forget how to spell already) for dinner,
thank kitty for the treat yup.
Then... going sutera mall with QQ again... -_-|||
Then, go home,
sweet dream...

Third day...
Also about the noon time, with kitty, jeffrey 3 man talks in a room,
And then, playing RICH 4,haha...
After that, jefferey go for tuition,
then YZ come,
then we go for bowling...
And in the night time,
i go to secondary friends(k-rol,actually&watever_ler) home for tea section,
the feels is quite well, because really got a long time didn't meet with them le.
In the end, sleeping in the YZ home,
and nice dream again...

4th day...
sleep until noon time,
then go home for bath.
After that,QQ come and fetch me for japenese food.
Because ZY be the boss.
SO thank you for the treat yup.
BUt serious, i'm very full that day.
Then next time should be i pay the bills yup.
So, come kl to find me gua, XD
After that, go home for a sweet dream...
Maybe still have activity in night time,
but i'm fell to sleep and didn't answer the calls..


5th day...
Family days...
Stay at home for whole day.
Then playing with my 2 little young brothers,
then chating with my mums...
what a warms day...

6th day...
same as yesterday,
family day again. -_-|||
still stay at home whole day,
then night time go dinner with my dad.
then sweet dream. ><
what a simple day...


In the rest of the day...
still the same, doing nothing,
then go back kl le...
So this how i spend my holiday in jb...

~JB vs KL~

一个，是我成长的地方...
一个，是我初到不久的地方...

一个，是我待了17年的地方...
一个，是我待了差不多3个月多的地方...

一个，我有过不少回忆的地方...
一个，我正在创造回忆的地方...

一个，我以前熟悉但现在陌生的地方...
一个，我以前陌生但现在探索的地方...

一个，曾经拥有很多朋友的地方...
一个，朋友正在增加中的地方...

一个，让我回头回想的地方...
一个，我往前发展的地方...

一个，我曾经舍不得的地方...
一个，我现在向往的地方...

一个，我曾经得过且过的地方...
一个，我现在努力不懈的地方...

一个，曾经十分安逸的地方...
一个，现在布满挑战的地方...

一个，是与家人同住一个屋檐下...
一个，是与朋友及新朋友同住一个屋檐下...

一个，我有人依靠的地方...
一个，我自力更生的地方...

一个一个，都是我珍惜，怀念的地方。
如果可以，我不想从中选择一个。
因为，若选择其中之一，
必定会忽略另外一方。
然而，现实就是这么一回事，
我选择了或只能选择后者（因为读书嘛）。
虽然会因此而忽略了我成长的地方，
但这确实是我成长的另一个里程碑。
给以前的朋友，
也许因为我的离去，
我们鲜少联系，
或者是不再联系。
但我仍然衷心的感谢你，
感谢你在我18年的道路上，
所为我留下的脚印。

现在的我，
一定会把这些脚印铭记于心。
带着这些回忆，
继续在新的地方奋斗,翱翔...

ps:不知为什么，回来几天，想了很多，感触也很多。
所以把他们都写下来了。lolz...

复杂的心情...

今天一早起来，没事做。便起来打开电脑看看。
看着看着，便看到了在第二团从以前到现在的照片。
不知为什么，心好像抽了一下。
因为，很快的，我们第二团便会正式解散。
虽然大家都说会继续联络，
但是始终还是觉得少了一些。
我们再也不可以像之前一样的赶工，
整大班人会议后的晚餐。
30个人的电影。
还有很多很多…
心里真得很舍不得。
有什么办法吗？
就算时间倒流到之前然后停止，
就算只停留在那一刻，
我也会很高兴。
因为我真得已经习惯了有第二团的生活，
现在，一个人在家的我，
感觉好寂寞，
多想手机发来的pbl，
多想大家发来邀请游玩或赶工的信息，
多想多想…
得到第二团的消息…
想当初，
我还非常任性不懂把握机会的要退团，
好在最后，留了下来，
才没有留下生命中的一个遗憾。
我不管别人怎么看我，
但是，我真的是为第二团付出了。
我已把我所能做的尽力做好了。
虽然也许办得不好，
但是，我真得尽力了。
下乡时，我又是发脾气，脸黑黑，
不是因为你们的安排，
而是怕，你们那么看重我，
给了我那么多工作。
我很怕我做不好，
毕竟这应该是我最后的工作，
我真的不想搞砸他。
所以才会那么火爆。
对不起，我始终没有做好，
真的对不起…
现在，真的好想和大家聚在一起哦，
真得很想念大家。
昨天收到大家类似道别的信息，
我一篇都没有回复。
原因，因为我真得不想那么快和大家分离，
我真得不想。
才短短3个月，我好不容易交到了一班那么好的朋友，
为什么无情的时间那么快就要我们分离呢？
而且，老实说，进了下乡，
最让我惊奇的，
就是我为了他哭了。
就是下乡前，
顾问弄的，
为什么把气氛弄的那么好啊，
还说些一大堆惹人眼泪的话
害我们都哭得一把眼泪，一把鼻涕的。
第二次，就是一次在弄pA system时，
因为我什么都还不会，
就要开始了。
最后效果出来，大家当然知道。
结果校长生气了。
当时在台上，我偷偷的掉了几滴眼泪。
当然，应该没人看到，有大家也只看到了我生气耍脾气罢了。
第三次，就是现在，字还没打完眼泪就在打滚了
现在才知道原来我也那么爱哭。
第二团，因为你，
我找到了十分合拍的朋友
第二团，因为你，
我觉得我改变了
第二团，因为你，
我…我不知怎么说。
谢谢你为我18岁的天空添了一道亮丽的色彩。
因为，在这里，我真得学会了很多。
也因为你，我认识了一班可爱的小弟弟，小妹妹。
和他们混在一起的3天里，
让我清楚知道原来快乐可以那么简单。
和他们一起的时间里，
不管已经多疲累，
脸上的笑容却依然挂着…
也许是看到他们那天真无邪的笑容吧？
谢谢你们带给我的欢笑。
谢谢助人组的你们。
添胜，晋乐，民卫，朝源，钲洋，灵光，雪云，思敏，盈萱，于尼，以及月晴。
谢谢你们带给我的欢乐。
我的义弟义妹们，
令涵，嘉元，依玲，丽慧。
希望在将来的日子里，
我会是个不错的义哥。
好了，最后，
还有几位劳苦功高的人物需要感谢。
首先，4位带团顾问。
谢谢你们一路来对我们的照顾
虽然你们平时都严肃到不行，
但你们严肃的背后却是对我们无限的关心，
这点我们都感受的到，
真得谢谢你们
当然，在我想退团的时候，
若不是你们的极力挽留，
我想我应该没有机会去享受这一切吧？
所以真得谢谢你们咯。
还有，教育股的2位主任们。
谢谢你们咯，
我的presentations很成功哦，
说话没有太快
大家也很用心在听。
哈哈…


真的是最后了，
各位，
都应该和我一样很舍不得吧？
谢谢第二团…
我衷心的感谢你带给我的一切…